Well hi again!!! Sorry its been so long but I’ve been super busy, and my site as you can see got a little makeover! Whatcha think? I’m so in love with it!!! Feel free to click around and check out all the new little do-dads that have been added. I really have to thank my girl Tawsha Connell for putting my vision to life. She is so incredibly talented and understands “Riley Speak” like an experienced linguist who is fluent in Mumbo Jumbo. Tawsha, YOU ROCK MY SOCKS!!! Thank you for everything!
For those of you that have followed my little corner of the world since the start your probably wondering what happened to “Cheap Diva”. Don’t worry, I’ll still be posting my fabulous cheap finds. I’m just branching out a little bit. I really wanted to blog sooner because I have so many goodies that I want to share, but my little website isn’t the only thing in my life that’s been revamped. Insert drum roll here…..
I”M MOVING TO ATLANTA!!!!!!
YEP! I’m getting on the roller coaster ride that is my life once more and moving to the big city to be a Co-Host at Power 96.1 with Scotty Kay. Honestly this move was not planned at all. I had it in my head that Nashville was going to be my last stop but as always, God has his plan for me and I am so very blessed. Actually blessed doesn’t even begin to cover it. This is the kind of job that I started radio for. Its so surreal. So crazy. Such a dream opportunity. Ok quick somebody pinch me! No wait don’t because if this is a dream I don’t want to wake up!
I’ll be blogging more about my new journey but for now I wanna show you a few of my favorite things.
“Cinderella proved that a new pair of shoes can change your life.” ~ Pinterest
“A thing of beauty is a joy for ever.” ~ John Keats
“The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.” ~ Steel Magnolias
“Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.” ~ Elizabeth Taylor
“Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” ~ Rachel Zoe
“Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”~ Marilyn Monroe
“A woman who doesn’t wear perfume has no future.” ~ Coco Chanel
When you look at that picture what do you see? If you follow this blog at all you may be familiar with that girl. If you just so happened to stumble across my little corner of the world at random today then hello! That image you see above is me… R!LEY COUTURE or as very few know me anymore Raquel Segarra.
The reason I ask you what you see when you look at that picture whether you are familiar with me or not, is because I have been questioning what others see in me quite often lately. For me that image is deceiving. It covers hurt, anxiety and fear. I suppose in times of turmoil its a natural reaction for me to look inward and criticize. Mind you I was not always this way. Once upon a time I was so very sure that I was such a master of my own universe that the idea of seeing past the end of my own nose was as foreign as the idea of unicorns existing among us. I was confident, arrogant and self serving. Now before you decide to click away from this post thinking its nothing more than a pity party just bare with me. A point is coming I promise.
In the image you see above the makeup is abundant, the eyelashes are false, and the hair is my go-to clip in weave. Does this make me fake? Or is this just a better representation of what I want my image to be? Be the best self you can be is what all self help gurus tell us right? Looking even further that girl looks joyous, excited and put together. It is not to say that I am never those things but that picture was taken meres month ago and in this moment I can say that I honestly don’t feel that way. Enter the struggle between all that is my public persona and my personal life. But one thing I have always enjoyed about the cross pollination between the two is my ability to be open and share to the point of TMI. Someone described me the other day as having a wall. This bothered me to my core. Me, the girl that believes in fairy tales and nine times out of ten over shares has a WALL?
Again…. a noteworthy point is coming.
This season of life has presented me with a set of challenges that I have not yet experienced to this level. Plainly put my health has not been good. I am scared and have no answers as of yet. I have been trying to put on a brave face and hide it as much as I can from those that solely know my public persona. Its my job to entertain and that has always been my joy. When I am behind a microphone your smile is my sole purpose. Changing your day in a positive way is the goal.
Who am I without that?
But now my brave front seems to be seeping into my real life presenting itself as a wall. Even as I type this I think why is it so hard for me to openly admit that here? That I am human and I may possibly be sick? Here, in this place where I have shared everything. My heartbreaks and my triumphs. My highest and lowest moments. I suppose its because its beyond my control.
Or is it?
Self help gurus also often say that attitude is everything. More than that my faith tells me that all things are possible with God. Told ya I had a point…
Here it is.
I was talking to my sister about this yesterday and after a hour long inspirational conversation she sent me this…
If you looked at the length of the video at decided to not watch it all the way through don’t feel bad. Even though my sister sent it to me as a beacon of hope I did the same thing at first. But today, I decided after a day of worry that I would commit to watching it and receiving its message.
After nearly seven years of living in Tennessee something that I swore I would NEVER do has happened.
I have gone Camo.
Since the weather has decided to go all arctic on us comfy sweatshirts have been my thing. Can’t get enough of them. Target isn’t normally my go-to place when I’m treasure hunting but I was killing time while waiting for my appointment to get my vagina zapped with a laser. I’m getting laser hair removal but that’s a story for another time.
I only had about ten minutes so I figured I would just would just quickly graze through the clearance section. Couple together my disdain for camo and my lack of time, I almost skipped right over this one. For whatever reason I decided to give it a little look-see and was pleasantly surprised to discover that the front fabric is a silky/rayon. Ok, starting to forgive this little shirt for being camouflage. It’s was kinda like a Little Shirt That Could situation. Then I saw the price and it was off to the register.
I got an ever better deal than that because I signed up for Target’s reward program that gives you 5% off your purchases. It’s a debit card that comes right out of your bank account so it’s not like having another credit card to worry about. Thinking i’ll be shopping in Target more often now.
Sorry I’ve been MIA for a few weeks. I wish I could say that the reason for my absence is that I have been trying to save money before my wallet gets a workout for Christmas. Sadly that’s not the case.
A few weeks ago I was hosting an acoustic performance with the boys from The Neighbourhood and we got onto the topic of women’s shoes. I mean, I was the one doing the interviewing so you kinda can’t be surprised. To my credit the original question came from a listener that asked them what their greatest fear was and one of the responses was to be in a room full of women wearing bad shoes. You know I had to go further with this one…
Me: “Well what’s your idea of a bad shoes on a woman?”
This made me giggle because immediately after he said that he scanned the room for anyone wearing said horrible wedge sneakers. Little did he know that I own a pair of wedge sneakers that I fondly call my “I Kill You Shoes”. Ironic and funny.
Just FYI I really like the guys from the Neighbourhood and their song….Even if they don’t agree with my taste in shoes.
Back to the furry wedgies…I got them on Ebay for $25.00 with shipping. Now let’s see if I can stop shopping for myself until after the holidays. Doubt it but we’ll see.
There other day my friend Kate and I had a conversation about how my shoes were overtaking my closet and how I should probably stop buying them. She thinks I have a problem. I told her it was less of a problem and more of a passion. Shoes are my foot art. Immediately after that conversation I took a field trip to Ross and came home with those ladies.
Hi. I’m R!LEY and shoes are my crack.
Random observation here…When I was a kid my favorite fairy tale was Cinderella. When I was in my early twenties I was obsessed with Sex and The City (what girl wasn’t right). So you see, ITS NOT MY FAULT. My shoe addiction was predestined. Or at least that’s what I’m going to tell myself so I can sleep at night when I literally become like the old woman living in her shoe. Stole that line from Carrie Bradshaw. I want to be her when I grow up.
Damn I’m rambling. Back to the shoes.
LOVE the sleek detail! If you notice the picture to the bottom right you will see why I couldn’t pass these up. Under $30 dollars for Guess ankle booties that retail for $149.00?? It would be an insult to the shoe gods to walk away from these.
I just re-read that last sentence and realized just how far into my addition I am.
It’s been almost year that I’ve been in Nashville and its hard not to let an amazing city like this get into your heart. If you have been reading this blog for any length of time you know that the way to my heart is through shoes. So now that I’m becoming more and more about Nashvegas I have been having a wicked shoe craving for some brown cowgirl boots for Fall.
I see girls walking around downtown and envy their confidence of rocking straight cowgirl kicks with flowy dresses and cute little shorts but I have yet to buy a full on pair of them. There was that one pair of grey vintage Capezios I bought on Ebay, but to be honest they sit in my closet waiting for me to find the perfect outfit for them. Florida girl over here doesn’t know how to properly accessorize the cowgirl boot. YET. Getting there though.
I’m taking it slow with these braided ankle booties. Country Chic for $23.99 is easier to deal with until I get up the gusto to spend the the $350 ones that I really want.
I hate cats. But I love this shirt. 1987 neon green isn’t really my thing either, but the lace and the fit of that blazer will make me go 80′s all day long.
One of my favorite shopping strategies if to search the clearance rack right before the seasons change because nine times out of ten your going to find cheap stuff that you can wear for at least a few more weeks.
Charlotte Russe is perfect for these kind of clearance hauls. The tank was $10.00 and the blazer was $12.00. Plus I was exchanging a dress that I decided was too hoochie coochie for me so technically I didn’t spend anything and got $6.00 bucks back. Yay for that!
When you read that what does it say to you? Have you ever been in love? Really and TRULY been in love? I asked myself that very question and if I’m quite honest the answer may very well be no for me. I have loved and been loved in return but not to that description that you see above.
Love is kind? Love does not envy? Love is patient? Love does not insist in having its own way?
Ay. Talking about starting over at square one with my idea on true amore.
I went back to church on Sunday and as I was walking up the gravel road to the campus (Yes I wore more sensible shoes this time) I started thinking about love. Like what does it really mean? In any situation whether it be a friend, family, lover, some random person you cross paths with…. What is love really all about? Sure enough God popped up and said hello to me just in the unexpected way he had before in this church. One of the greeters handed me a pamphlet with an infectious grin on her face and inside was this….
HOLY FORREST GUMP MOMENT! “Somethang bite meeeey!” I mean geeeeez! That discussion on sabotage isn’t until next Sunday but you bet your sweet little tush that I will be there!!! That little card was enough to peak my attention even more as to what was filling my heart inside this church’s walls. It describes more of my notion of love than is comfortable for me to admit.
The current service I was attending was all about love and how we should love each other as God wants us to. Freely and openly and even if we don’t really want to. Normally, or at least I have been guilty of this, we think of love as Valentines day, wedding vows, marriage, Hallmark cards and warm fuzzies. While those are all forms of love I had never put into perspective that real love is different. its oh o much more that I thought. In love I have been unkind, I have been selfish, I have been jealous. Man that sucks to write and realize that. As many times as I have uttered the words, have I ever been woman enough to do more than just say them? One thought keeps creeping into my mind while I yearn for this one thing in my life that seems to elude me.
To receive love you have to live in love.
Now that to me is a smack you in the face kind of thought. Maybe love isn’t just meant to be solely felt in those three words that we so often throw around without real meaning. For me its beginning to mean being n love with life.
Being in love wit that unexpected cool breeze during my run when I was letting my mind distract me from how pretty the weather was.
Being in love with how friggin cute my dog is when she gets all spastic and wants to play when I’m in the middle of doing my abs.
Being in love with how many AMAZING friends that have been placed in my life. That have saved my life.
Being in love with my career that I have worked so hard for.
Being in love with my Mommy and how she prays EVERYDAY for my happiness so much that sometimes she sacrifices her own.
Bottom line is that I think, I hope, I PRAY that I’m onto something here. I want to live life in love no matter the circumstance. No matter the road that God is leading me towards. I am not going to be unrealistic and say that all my bitterness and resentment has floated away but I’m workin’ on it. Its been a long time coming so it won’t happen overnight. But this much I can say. I am closer than I was before.
This is a tough one for me to write. I’m not really sure about how I can dance around the subject so I’ll just come out with it. Lately I have been truly questioning my faith in GOD. Yes the girl that has a Cross, The Dove Of Peace, and Psalm 27:14 forever inked on her body is unsure as to whether or not GOD is truly listening. It seems as though my life for the past five years…or maybe even longer than that has been littered with heartache. Now I know that my kind of heartache could be considered a day at Disneyland in comparison to what TRUE heartache looks like, but in my selfish world I feel like I have cried a lot of tears.
As I type this my mind starts to run away from me as to why I began writing in the first place. Oh yea, feather-like faith.
I have always believed in GOD because its what I was raised with. Perhaps that’s not entirely true. I believed in God enough to ask him for good things, enough to praise him when good things came around. But never enough to trust him when I was in the dumps. I would always turn to a friend, boyfriend or whatever else I could grasp onto to give me the pep talk that would give me strength for another day. As you can probably tell that hasn’t worked out so well for me.
I’m not going to go into detail about the array of crap that has gone down in my life that most recently brought me to this point because in all honesty its the same shit different day. I’m about to be 32 in a week. Where does this chaos end?
With God? Er… WITH GOD!
I am supposed to say that with gusto and certainty right? I’m ashamed to say but that has been hard for me. I never thought I would admit that for whomever in reading this to see. But there ya have it.
So tonight something happened. I’m not gonna call it a monumental change in me because I still feel pretty heavy. But something did in fact happen. I decided to go back to church tonight and try out this new one called Crosspoint. Its big with lots of stage trappings, sound systems, and a HUGE amount of people go and worship there. That had me a little timid but I needed to ask God a few things. So I went.
I pull up to the packed parking lot where volunteers are waving the cars to a far away lot in the back. I’m thinking boy did I ever wear the wrong type of shoes for this. Typical me. My mind is suppose to be on God and I’m thinking about my shoes. I start trekking up to the church campus on a gravel road and notice a group of women and their kids getting into a golf cart shuttle. I keep walking thinking there wasn’t going to be room for me, but just then a beautiful lady calls out to me and says “There’s room for one more. Save your shoes!” Well then…that’s my kind of lady! I get in and sort of mindlessly listen to their conversation about how their little girls wanted to sit in the back of the golf cart. The women were joking about how when you grow up and have kids that you have to give up things like Pop Tarts and sitting in the back of the golf cart to let the kids have their fun. I though that was so unselfishly adorable. I often envy people like this lady and wonder why I can’t be so selfless and take pleasure in small things like Pop Tarts. I haven’t had a Pop Tart in yeeeaaars!
There I go again. Getting off track.
Back to Feather-like Faith. So as the service started it was much of the same for me. The songs were wonderful and uplifting and I started to cry. My eyeballs burst open like Niagara falls anytime I go to church. Something this time was different though. I felt empty, with no connection to where I was and what was happening around me. I figured for sure that even though my faith was fragile that I would get to church and feel it all come upon me like a cleansing wave. Nope. Wasn’t happening and it was scaring the hope right out of me that I couldn’t feel anything but pain. I gave it another song or two and finally sat down among this sea of standing believers and started to pray in the most honest way that I could.
“God are you there?” “God why don’t you love me anymore?” “God why can’t I feel you?” “God please touch me and let me know you are there.” “God I am here waiting for you.”
That’s when some thing that could only be described as a wicked coincidence or God answering me happened. I’m thinking it has to be the latter.
As I sat there with my head down and my hands clasped together I felt someone hugging me from behind. It was a woman and she was frail but so warm in her embrace that I started to bawl. She held me a little while longer as I tried to catch my breath and whispered in my ear “God put me in that carriage next to you for a reason and it wasn’t because of your shoes.”
WOA. Whaaaaaaaaat? I was stunned, hopeful and blubbering with tears at this point. The lady from the golf cart! I was still trying to process and get a hold of my waterworks when she she said something that I couldn’t quite make out over the singing but I think she said “God wants you to know that he’s here with you.”
This only made me sob harder but she she held onto me and let me weep. The thing is, that even though this was a perfect stranger I held onto her as if my life in that moment depended on it. I dunno perhaps it did. There is something to that. Trusting in a perfect stranger promising me that God has this thing I call life handled. Isn’t faith all about trust?
Another song began and I was able to stand but this angel was’t going to leave my side just yet. She jumped over the row and stood beside me, letting me know that she AND God were still there. She stayed beside me though the rest of the song and the short service. After the lights came on we talked a bit and she told me her name. Lisa. Which is my Aunts name as well. Lisa told me that if I wanted a family to worship with that I could be part of her family. Tears came in waves again. She hand wrote her number on a little card and told me it was not a cell but her house number where she could be found 90% of the time. She asked for my number and wrote it on another little card and put it back into her purse that I noticed was filled with Christian books. I then gave her another gripping hug which was returned with the same strength and I said goodbye and that I hoped to hear from her soon. Which I have no doubt that I will.
As for my Feather-like Faith? I can’t say that it is completely restored to where it should be but I will say this. Thank you GOD for small miracles.
They are Iron Fist and I cannot wait to wear them!!! I must be getting more and more into the cowgirl boot thing. Nashville has away of doing that to ya My Ebay bidding finger was clicking away at high speeds when I saw these. They were $36 bucks with shipping but I had some Ebay bucks saved up so they ended up being like $26.00!
If you haven’t signed up for Ebay bucks I highly recommend it. Basically when you purchase things you get like 14 cents back. It takes a awhile to accumulate anything big but when you do its a nice little surprise. Happy shoe shopping!